Designing an alliance

Whether it’s between two people or twenty, relationships are largely dependent on trust. So it’s important to consider what can be done to foster it. Though at first it might sound a little unorthodox, designing alliances are right at the heart of this question. If done well, it is a beautiful and creative process, and the basis of successful futures.

What is a designed alliance, and who is it for?
Designed alliances are used in coaching to help define boundaries and needs, and establish a framework for achieving goals. They are based on clear and regular communication, which begins with the asking of questions and listening. This leads to understanding, which in turn provides clarity, direction, and the beginnings of a steady state of flow.   

To put it another way, designing alliances allow you to define and create your relationships from the very start. It embeds the concept that the team are all striving together, and will succeed (and at times, fail) together. This leads to an intentional and conscious design that recognises the specific needs of all the participants.

Alliances exist in all types of relationships. And like all relationships, alliances require regular adjustment to truly flourish.

Why does it matter?
The ultimate goal of a designed alliance is to answer the question: “How do we want to be?” 

As Aron Blum says in the Startup: “You have to know how to be before you move on to the doing. So often we jump right to what needs to be done, which will inevitably lead to micro-fractures in trust.” 

If trust is compromised, it is the questions that are asked in the beginning, how well they have been heard, and how they are revisited, that determines the path to progress.

How to design an alliance
For an alliance to succeed, you need to understand and clarify the expectations of your allies. It might look something like this:

1. An mutual appreciation of intentions and hopes

2. The right environment so everyone can participate openly

3. Shared responsibility

4. A plan -- in particular for when conflict should arise
    

In order to make achieve this, think about following these steps:

1. Space. Create some time to design your alliance. It should take at least an hour, and should not be rushed on any account. Start as you mean to go on: By making space.
   

2. Boundaries. Start asking questions (and capture the answers of course!) to your potential allies that help establish common ground and understanding. This might include: 

   • What are the most important relationships in your life? Which leads naturally to:

   • What are your best hopes for this new relationship?

   • How can we commit to and count upon each other? 

   • What tone and boundaries do we need to set (for example, confidentiality)?

   • What is the best way for us to acknowledge, celebrate, support and feedback to each other?

   • If something isn’t working, how will we deal with it to retain the alliance?

   • If you do not feel good, how can I help?

   • If someone chooses to break the alliance, what needs to be discussed?
     
     As best as you can, get into the detail: this is crucial not only for having clear paths to resolution, but also to generate buy-in when the alliance is being formed.
     

3. Record. The alliance is a living and breathing agreement, kept in the form of a document, which should be reviewed and updated on as needed. This can be a central document, or a shared white board, for example. I’ve recently used a tool called Miro to design alliances. This includes the creative process of writing sticky notes, which helps engage team members.
   

4. Review. Reviewing the designed alliance gives a clear sense on participation: Are all team members following what was agreed? If not, does it need updating? As part of your team’s operating rhythm, agree on how best, and how often, to approach this.
   

The Playhouse Perspective: Expanding your alliances
A designed alliance can also be used outside of the context of work. Imagine, for example, designing an alliance over a holiday trip with your partner: 

• What do you want from the trip?

• How do you want to be on the trip?

• What are your concerns, if any?

• How will you celebrate?

While it’s best to build an alliance at the start of a relationship, that may not always be possible. The good news is it’s never too late. You can start again, but you can continue differently. 

Do you have an experience of designing an alliance that succeeded or failed? Let us know in the comments below!